I’d Bank with BofA before drinking this stuff.

We’re all in love with the whole Happy and Ballard Canyon thing, but let me tell you:  There are clunkers.  This is not the first one.  Second, I believe–for Happy Canyon.  Yup, just went and found the first.  Fairly light garnet and not crystal-clear with pink edges.  Uninteresting apricot, peachy, cucumber fruit nose laced with dark toasted oak and a smidgen of lightning-struck earth.  Sharp entry doesn’t really promise too much and instantly moves into oak-aid.  Acrid and thin with no fruit to speak of.  Boring, burnt tannins round out the finish.  What is the best part of this wine?  Paying 30 bucks for it and sitting there drooling over that magic word “Happy” on the label for a week.  A lot of air-time gives you watered-down milk-fat bouquet with a slight creek-bed loam… and… more… oak.  This is so uninteresting I’m about to fall asleep just writing this.  Fat and muddled on the tongue–there’s Just. Nothing. Significant. going on.  Lots of little muddled, barely-there nuances which would make it great for Aunt Edna’s Christmas Dinner because no one could argue over any overt profiles.  BANK?!?  What, you cleaned out your barrels and bottled this for bank?  Or are you referencing my creek-bank discriptor?  Oh and, QUIZ TIME!!!  Ha ha remember the 5 Bordeaux varietals?!?  This is a perfect example to check up on your retention.  I’ll even make it multiple-choice.  Which doesn’t belong:

52% Cabernet Sauvignon
26% Cabernet Franc
9%  Syrah
6%  Malbec
4%  Merlot
3%  Petite Verdot
Eliminate the outlier.  How did you do?  Really, I don’t care what you make your wine out of–yes, I am a classicist, but am not going to whine if you choose to blend a little Syrah in your Meritage.  It’s your winery.  But seriously:  Nothing works here.  You can do SOOOO MUCH better for 30$ in Santa Ynez.  What a disappointing wine.  Life’s too short to drink wines like this.  14-5  ◊
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