Gather the children around the fire, mom and dad, it’s that won-wonderful time of the year! The season of gratitude, family and refreshment and vacation! And best of all: Vacation for Wine-blogger!!! Here amidst the duties of arranging Thing A’s time off from school with Thing B’s starring in the Nativity play and Aunt Arlene bringing her Turducken in from Peoria, things get really complicated, and nature has granted a kind reprise to this one sector of society–one only–and it is called The List.
While the rest of you are desperately trying to make clients happy before you scuttle off in the mommy-van to San Diego or scrub the house for 17, Wine-Blogger has their feet up around the pool, draining the last of the oxidized Barbera left over from the #lodichat samples, looking out over all 6 of those Thompson Seedless vines on the fence in full fabulous fall vineyard colors depicted in their IG feed in close-up. Because God has dealt wine-blogger a particular double-whammy of a soft-lob as the year winds down, and how many professions can claim such outstanding expended/results ratios? Nothing requires fewer brain-cells to create than a list. Nothing is anticipated and devoured and shared and talked about and cheered and bookmarked and metrics recitivized as The List. Retail bows in glowing adoration and that Meomi ad in the sidebar gets hit more times than #teamclearheels going home with a $1000 tipper.
The Best Thanksgiving Wines list starts off innocuously enough under the banner of that oh-so-difficult-question: What-To-Pair-With-Thanksgiving-Dinner because everyone knows without the advice of someone with years of experience, who could POSSIBLY navigate the bottom two grocery-store shelves to find something adequate for a dry, roasted bird and Heavenly Yams? It is clearly a task–we learned from Gourmet magazine many decades ago–NOT to be left to anyone without several letters behind his name. *Best Thanksgiving Wines* DOES NOT morph into Top Ten Christmas Wines as one would expect. NO!!!!! This is where the *Year End* and TOP WINES OF 20XX show up even though those in the front row will notice it is not really anywhere NEAR the end of the year.
Curiously enough, this is also the timing for the several esteemed fish-wraps to roll out their TOP 100 queues, which can make a gimme $30 Top-20 miserably-safe also-ran or politically-correct Cougar-Juice as scarce as teeth at a Republican rally. After the count-down lists are deflated, Day-Drinker gleefully moves on to the difficult subject of Christmas-Wine Pairing. MORE TOP-10 FODDER! A grueling 3 minutes spent on a keyboard and the low-hanging-fruit let out a 10k-follower sigh of relief and rejoice at the direction they have been given in their respective “If it’s red and cheap I’ll drink it” lives.
But wait. There’s more! Post-Xmas means more year-end lists–the ones with *stories*. But no one cares except the people who need a back label to tell them what to think about a wine. It’s a long time til TOP 10 CHAMPAGNES FOR VALENTINE’S.