A Steaming Stack of BULLSHIT

Bright ruby with fluorescent edges.  Sweet sweet nose packed with used Band-aid, fat green oak and nothing else.  Fat and rich and round and absolutely textbook tourist-wine bullshit Napa Valley tank oak-chip, enhanced, manipulated, probably micro’d 3rd or 4th label checkbook winery crap.  SMOOOTH and fat, a little mint if you search for it, but nothing can cover the chemical bullshit.

In the mouth, the fat round mouthfeel is brightened only briefly by a tiny dryness and Key-Lime acid.  The whole package is candy nonsense posing as stale chocolate-covered macadamias.

As hard as I want to compare this to my local appellation: Paso–the KING of bullshit tourist wines, this is unmistakably Napa through-and-through.  Napa cookie-cutter bullshit, but still Napa.  Thing is–unlike Paso–these are not tourist wines, these are distributed wines.  There’s no tasting room and no one drinks this inside Napa.  This is bullshit shipped out to restaurants and shops everywhere.  This is what Amy Schumer drinks when she treats herself to Red Lobster.  NOBODY should drink this dretch.  Keyword: SWEET over-rides even ROUND and FAT.  A bitterness masquerading as tannin and acid provides just enough reminder you paid 35 dollars for it.  Oh dear Dog make this wine go away.

2013 STACK HOUSE Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley  14.5

www.invinofelicitaswines.com

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