Fearsome Foursome of Blah

2007 ARROWHEAD MOUNTAIN Zinfandel Sonoma County  15-5
Dishwater and burnt condoms in the men’s bathroom at Home Depot over a sweaty Brut 33 puddle left on a weight-bench.  ◊

2011 MONTEMARRIORE Syrah Dry Creek Valley Sonoma County  13-6
Cow manure, Horse manure, Chicken manure, Dog manure, Cat manure, fly on the windscreen and the bucket the squeege comes out of wrapped in a fire-cracker jalapeno tannin-bomb with a burnt-fruit bow on top. Like drinking straight pink grapefruit juice.  Easily the most promising wine on this page.  Just a cold-climate SY gone awry.  ◊  EDIT:  Left open purposely overnight in hopes of a miraculous re-alignment of priorities.  No change.

2013 SEMPRE VIVE Red Blend Blue Heron Vineyard Napa Valley  14-5
If you can get past the color, we have an EXTREMELY amateur effort of KMBS and gunpowder over moldy shower curtain and Corbett Canyon yon yon yon yon yon fruit. I made this exact wine in 1999. It was a Carignane, but I made this wine in a 5g carboy.  I can still taste it.  No herons were harmed in making this wine. Nor were any label-designers consulted.  ◊

2011 TRALUNA Toscana IGT  12-5
Imagine a broccoli plant peeing on a banana-caramel snow-cone. That’s this wine. I’ve seen Paso rosé darker than this wine  No indication of variety.  ◊

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