Shit Mountain


Beautiful perfect ruby, clear and non-staining.  Flatulent rosy ripe nose reading nothing more than fat fruit and prune, big dessert-and alcohol-tinged nothingness with a quasi-briary sweetness and fake petrichor. Still and motionless of bouquet, it is amazingly lacking of an alcohol burn even though I know this is 15+.

This is honestly better than I expected.  Haven’t had this wine in probably over a decade and the interesting part is: It is the only wine with a security locking mechanism attached to the top at Smart & Final–even though there are wines two and three times the price alongside with no such security device.  

In the mouth, nasty chemical burn and sweetness galore alongside a pruney, vodka-infused sip totally lacking in redeeming qualities.  Black, acidic middle barely-floral and contrived, lacking fruit backed up with harsh tannins the tourist-crowd will undoubtedly label “huge”.  The back label crows warmingly of “bigger is better” and I am sure all parties are laughing all the way to the bank. There’s no indication of fruit other than oblique disgustingness, just fabricated acid-water distilled down to a purple wanna-be infusion of what the maxi-skirt crowd thinks “wine” is supposed to taste like.

WHO drinks this shit? Oh wait. I know who.

2015 OPOLO Mountain Zinfandel Paso Robles 16.3

www.opolo.com

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